Finding Forever Read online

  Alec guiltily avoided looking at Peter. “I’d much rather spend Christmas with you.”

  “They’ve asked you, haven’t they? But you said no because you’re avoiding them,” Peter said in an accusing voice.

  Alec grazed Peter’s cheek with a finger and gently said, “Just give me some time.”

  Peter nodded a little and gave Alec a thin-lipped smile. “Sure, just don’t take too long, okay?”

  Alec pulled Peter into a hug. “Peter, please believe me. I really will tell them.”

  Luckily for Alec, before the conversation got even more uncomfortable, the kitchen timer sounded. “That’ll be the pudding,” Alec said, picking himself up off the floor.

  Peter watched as Alec went back into the kitchen and hoped that he hadn’t made a mistake by breaking his own rule about dating someone who was not out to his family.

  The delicious aroma that followed a clatter from the kitchen enticed Peter to investigate.

  “Perfect!” declared Alec when he fished the pudding basin from the pot. Proudly showing his creation to Peter, he boasted, “See? My Gran’s recipes never fail.”

  “Ooh, that’s lovely.” Peter appreciatively inhaled the aromas of nutmeg and cinnamon, the quintessential scents of Christmas.

  “Now we’ll let this cool a bit before we drizzle some good whiskey onto it, and we’ll have a top-notch pudding for next week’s Christmas lunch at Aunt Jo’s,” Alec said brightly.

  Peter caught Alec by the waist and hugged him tightly. He nuzzled his head into Alec’s hair and decided to forget about the touchy subject of Alec’s parents and just enjoy Christmas.

  A FEW days later, Aunt Jo called. “Alec, I just got off the phone with your mother. She has a surprise for you, but I thought it would be best to give you some warning. She and your father are coming for Christmas.”

  Alec tried to talk, but his throat felt paralyzed, and he couldn’t make his lips form any words.

  “Alec, did you hear me? I said your mum and dad are coming to London for Christmas,” Jo enunciated loudly.

  “Uh, yes, yes, Aunt Jo, I heard you.” Alec gulped. “Shit. They aren’t coming to stay with me, are they?”

  “No. They’re staying with me, but it doesn’t solve your problem.”

  Alec let out a long, unhappy breath. “Alec, you know you can’t hide over here forever. You’re going to have to tell them eventually. If not for your sake, for Peter’s,” Aunt Jo sternly told him.

  “Well, I could tell them the next time I see them. Maybe next summer. Peter and I could act like we’re just friends when we’re over at your place,” Alec said in desperation.

  “Alec,” Aunt Jo sighed, “that’s for you and Peter to work out. But you know what’s right. They’ll be here in three days, so you had better come to some kind of decision.”

  “Okay, thanks, Aunt Jo. I’d better let Peter know.”

  “Let Peter know what?” Peter asked as he came in from the front hall with a load of shopping.

  “Oh, that was Aunt Jo. She was calling about Christmas lunch. She wanted me to remind you that… that… she wanted us to come over early so we could help.”

  “Oh, right, that shouldn’t be a problem,” Peter said before taking the shopping bags into the kitchen. Alec huffed and ran his hand through his hair, regretting that he had just lied to Peter.

  Alec followed Peter into the kitchen and tried to sound casual. “Hey, Pete. There was something else Aunt Jo said on the phone.”

  “Oh? What’s that?” Peter talked as he worked to put away the groceries he had just bought.

  “Well, she said my mum and dad were coming to London as a surprise,” Alec said hesitantly.

  “That’s wonderful! We’ll have a proper family Christmas. It is wonderful, isn’t it? I will get to meet them, right?” Peter asked apprehensively when Alec stared at him dumbly.

  Alec shoved his hands into the pockets and hunched his shoulders. “Oh, of course you’ll meet them. I was just thinking, though, maybe we should play it cool.”

  Peter’s eyebrows shot up and disappeared into the fringe of hair on his forehead. “Play it cool? I don’t understand.”

  “Well, here’s the thing. I’m not sure I’m ready to tell them about us yet, and I thought it might be easier if they got to know you first,” Alec said uncomfortably.

  “You mean you want me to pretend that I was your friend and that we were both straight,” Peter said icily.

  “Well, just this once. Just for now. I promise I’ll tell them everything once Christmas is over,” Alec pleaded.

  “Alec, I will not hide who I am. If you can’t give me that dignity, then we are done,” Peter said hotly. He stomped out to the front hall and grabbed his coat. “I’ll come back for my things when I get some boxes, so you needn’t worry about your parents knowing I even exist,” he spat out and turned to leave.

  “Peter, wait, wait. I will tell them about us. Please give me some time. Come on. Of all people, you should understand how difficult this is.”

  Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Look. If you need time, then I’ll give you time. Call me when you’re ready,” Peter said quietly, and he pulled the door shut with a thud as he walked out.

  Alec collapsed against it and slid to the floor. “Shit, shit, shit,” he yelled to the empty flat. He sat there until his legs went numb.

  THE trip to Aunt Jo’s for Christmas lunch was dreadful. This must be what a condemned man feels like on the way to the gallows, Alec thought. Not only did he not want to speak to his parents, but he was also terrified of what his aunt might do to him when she found out about Peter.

  “Alec!” Aunt Jo said cheerfully when she answered Alec’s knock, but in the next moment, her face fell as she saw that her nephew was alone. “Where’s Peter?” she asked warily.

  “He’s not coming,” Alec said shamefully in a small voice. Aunt Jo stepped out into the corridor and shut the door behind her.

  “What do you mean, he’s not coming?” she whispered harshly. “What happened?”

  “He’s not coming. You haven’t said anything about Peter to Mum and Dad, have you?”

  “No. Well, yes. I told them you were bringing a guest.”

  “Shit. I’ll make some excuse. Look, Aunt Jo, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Could we just get this over with?” Alec pleaded.

  Jo said nothing and rolled her eyes before leading him into her flat.

  “Alec, I have a surprise for you,” Jo announced loudly for the benefit of John and Fiona, who were in hiding somewhere in the flat.

  When Alec’s parents heard Aunt Jo, they popped out from the kitchen and yelled, “Happy Christmas!”

  The cheerful greeting reminded Alec of exactly how unhappy he was, and to everyone’s surprise, he burst into tears. Fiona rushed forward and hugged Alec to her. “Oh, darling. There, there, it’s all right. We miss you too,” Fiona soothed.

  Alec quickly wiped the tears with the flats of his hands and sniffled. “Thanks for coming, Mum, Dad. This is such a surprise. How long are you going to be here?”

  “We’re staying until after New Year’s, but don’t worry, we won’t be a nuisance. We’ll be staying with your Uncle Hamish in Edinburgh. He’s invited us to spend Hogmanay with his family,” John answered.

  “But before we leave, we’d love to see you in Cinderella,” Fiona said.

  “I’d love for you and Dad to come! There’s a show later this week. I’ll see what I can do about getting you some tickets,” Alec said, feeling a little more chipper now.

  In the excitement of their reunion, neither John nor Fiona noticed that the expected fifth guest was missing until they sat down at the table and noticed the extra place setting.

  “Are we just four today?” asked Fiona. “I was looking forward to meeting one of Alec’s new friends.”

  Jo spoke up before Alec started tearing up again. “Well, it was only a rather remote chance that he could come today. Let’s get this party
started, shall we? Wine, anyone?”

  Chapter Eight

  ALEC waited until Boxing Day, the day after Christmas, to tell Aunt Jo what happened between him and Peter. Aunt Jo was none too pleased about the way Alec had handled the situation, and she reminded him that breaking up with Peter only put off the inevitable. Now it was the second day after the ordeal of Christmas lunch. Alec still felt like a right git, and matters were made worse by the fact that he was late getting to his agent’s office. He had a stack of photographs to sign and an even larger stack of fan mail to go through before he could meet his parents for a day at the British Museum.

  Alec took the stairs to Gareth’s office two steps at a time and arrived out of breath. “Hi, Alec,” Gareth’s office manager said when he came through the door. “The photos and your mail are all over there,” she said with a tilt of her head toward a small table in the corner.

  The old but solid table stood against a wall hung with dozens of photos of Gareth’s clients. Among the faces of up-and-coming talent were a few nationally well-known performers. Undoubtedly, Alec was among the nationally famous because of his success as Prince Charming in the musical version of Cinderella in the West End, and now that he had taken on the same role in the Cinderella Christmas special for BBC television, he was poised to gain international fame as well.

  “How’s Peter doing? I haven’t seen him in a while,” Katie asked conversationally as she watched Alec sign photographs.

  Alec looked up from his work and sighed. “I don’t know how Peter is doing. He and I are taking a break from each other.”

  “Oh no, really? Aww, I’m sorry to hear that, and at Christmastime too.”

  Alec was about make a comment about his wreck of a holiday when Gareth popped his head out from his office.

  “Hi, Alec. I’m glad you’re here. I was going to ring you today. Do you have time to stay and talk about some advertising work that a Japanese firm would like you to do?” Gareth continued to talk as he joined them in the reception area.

  “Well, I’m meeting my parents later. You can talk to me while I do these,” Alec answered, indicating the pile of photos.

  “Oh, are your parents in town? If I’d known they were coming, I would have gotten them some tickets to a couple of shows.”

  “Yeah, I wished I’d known they were coming too,” Alec said wryly. “You could still do them a favor, though, and get them into my show this week.”

  While Gareth talked, Alec made quick work of the photographs. He was about to start on his fan mail when his mobile rang.

  “Hang on. This might be Mum,” said Alec, stopping Gareth in midsentence. But rather than displaying his mother’s number, the screen on his phone read UNKNOWN CALLER.

  “Hello, is this Mr. Bannerman, Alec Bannerman?” asked the voice at the other end.

  “Yes,” answered Alec uncertainly as he wondered how an “unknown caller” had got hold of his private number.

  “My name is Andy Bell, and I’m the emergency response coordinator for the London Renovations Council. I’m calling because you are the designated emergency contact for Peter Leavesley. I’m afraid there was an accident at one of our construction sites, and Peter was injured.”

  With his heart racing in his chest, he asked for clarification. “Wait, wait, I’m sorry. You said there was an accident. Was Peter badly hurt?”

  “I’m afraid so. A scaffold collapsed, and several people were taken to hospital. I expect the hospital hasn’t called you yet because they have their hands full. We don’t know about Peter’s exact condition, but we do know they’ve taken him to Charing Cross A and E.”

  “Right, thank you for calling. I’ll get over there right away.” Visibly shaken, Alec told the others, “I’ve got to go! Peter’s been in an accident, and they’ve taken him to Charing Cross Hospital.”

  “Wait, I’ll go with you,” Gareth quickly volunteered. “Was he badly hurt?”

  “Yes, he was, but I don’t know anything beyond that,” Alec said grimly.

  Down on the street, they quickly caught a cab, and when they arrived at their destination, they saw a chaotic mix of flashing lights, ambulances, police cars, and television news vans jamming the street near the hospital.

  “Gawd,” exclaimed the cabbie, “it looks like there was some kind of disaster. It must be that accident that was just on the radio. I’ll drop you out front, shall I? You two don’t look like you need A and E.”

  Alec was close to hyperventilating and was in a wide-eyed daze as they drove past the scrum of vehicles in front of Accident and Emergency. As soon as the cab came to a halt in front of the hospital, he bolted out of the cab and was at the reception desk even before Gareth had paid the fare.

  “I’m looking for a patient who came in from the accident. His name is Peter Leavesley,” Alec said breathlessly.

  The bespectacled man behind the counter typed into his keyboard a bit and answered, “Ah, yes he was admitted a short time ago. But I have no information for you regarding his location or his condition.”

  Alec had tied down his panic by the thinnest of threads since leaving Gareth’s office, but this delay was too much for him to bear, and he exploded at the poor man. “Well, someone must know! You get on that phone and find out!” he yelled.

  The man was about to answer when Gareth appeared and placed a steadying hand on Alec’s shoulder. “Alec, I’m sure they’re taking care of Peter in the best way possible. Just sit tight and we’ll hear something soon.”

  Then, turning to the receptionist, Gareth calmly said, “Sir, my friend is understandably very upset. Please tell them that we’re here and let us know as soon as you get any information on him.”

  “Of course, sir. I will need to update Mr. Leavesley’s records. He doesn’t seem to have a next of kin listed. May I have your name, please?”

  “Bannerman. Alec Bannerman,” Alec answered in a calmer tone.

  ”Mr. Bannerman, if you would take a seat, I’m sure it won’t take long.”

  “Thank you,” Gareth said with a tug on Alec’s elbow. “Come on, mate, let’s have a seat over here and let them do their job, yeah?”

  Alec drew a shaky breath and allowed Gareth to lead him away. Taking a seat, Alec lowered his head and let the tears flow. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him, Gareth.”

  Gareth handed Alec a handkerchief and calmly said, “Everything is going to be all right. Charing Cross is one of the finest injury hospitals in London. He’s in good hands here.”

  After what seemed like ages, a silver-haired woman in her late fifties in a white coat and carrying a clipboard came out to the waiting area.

  “Mr. Bannerman?” Alec looked up and quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Mr. Bannerman, I’m Dr. Marsden. I’m sorry for the delay. The injuries from the accident have us a bit overloaded. Are you Peter’s family?”

  “I’m Peter’s boyfriend. We’re the only family he has,” Alec answered, gesturing to Gareth.

  “Well, Peter was taken to surgery as soon as he was brought in, and he is now in intensive care.”

  Alec felt his guts twist as he listened to the doctor.

  “He was seriously injured, but he’s in stable condition,” she continued in a reassuring voice.

  “What sort of injury has he?” Alec asked apprehensively.

  Dr. Marsden flipped through her clipboard and recited, “Well, he’s got major chest trauma and some internal injuries, but the good news is that he’s able to breathe without a respirator despite his chest injuries.”

  Alec scrubbed his face with his hands and let out shaky sigh.

  “Mr. Bannerman, we’ll take this a step at a time. Peter’s condition is stable, and that is indeed good news. They’ll let you see him for a few minutes once he’s settled in,” Dr. Marsden said as she got up to leave. Then, as an afterthought, she added, “Strictly speaking, we can only allow immediate family to visit in the ICU, but just tell them that you’re there to see your partner.”r />
  “Yeah, I’ll do that,” Alec said quietly. “Thank you.”

  Alec and Gareth approached the nurse’s station nervously when they exited the lift from the main floor below. As they got closer, Alec could see that the rooms were a series of glass-fronted cells arranged around a central command center. Currently an efficient-looking woman who reminded him of his mum ran it.

  “I’m here to see Peter Leavesley,” Alec told the nurse. With a quick look at her computer screen, she answered, “Peter is in room three, but I’m afraid I can only let immediate family see him.”

  Alec glanced at Gareth. “I’m his partner,” Alec said as confidently as he could while bending the truth.

  Gareth nodded. “I’ll wait for you downstairs. Do you want me to call anyone for you?”

  Alec was too distraught to care and just shook his head.

  “What is your name, dear?” the nurse asked.

  “Alec.”

  “Now, Alec, I can only let you stay a few minutes, all right? He’s heavily sedated. We want to keep him as quiet as possible.”

  A heartbreaking sight greeted Alec when he entered the room. Peter was pale and still and barely breathing. An intravenous line was taped to the back of his hand, he wore an oxygen cannula, and, less visibly, he had a catheter for his bladder. Wire leads connected him up to monitors that blinked eerily in the dimly lit room.

  Alec bit his lip to keep himself from sobbing as he walked anxiously toward the bed. He wanted to gather Peter up in his arms and never let him go, but he looked so fragile lying there that Alec was afraid to touch him.

  “Peter?” Alec said softly in a quivering voice. “It’s me, sweetheart. It’s Alec. Can you hear me? Are you awake?” With a tentative hand, he brushed back a lock of Peter’s hair as he waited for a reply. The only indication that Peter was aware of Alec was a slight roll of the head and an almost imperceptible breath that sounded like the mew of a weak kitten.

  “Peter, I’m here. You’re going to be all right,” Alec said, swallowing the lump in his throat.